Margret - a beautiful person
Margaret was in my eyes a beautiful person. In younger years most people would have found her quite attractive, but as she grew older, the beauty within was more apparent.
When I was 16 I left home & joined the Army, which was not easy for her. Although she had 5 children, she disliked the thought that not all her offspring would be able to pop past for a cup of tea & a chocolate Biscuit. It pleased her even less when only a couple of years later, I moved abroad. She would come over to visit me once a year, although she hated travelling. I can imagine it wasn’t easy for her & not for Dad either. Mum was a Fantastic back seat driver!
If I had asked my Mum why she would travel when it was so dislikeable for her, she might have said, Love has no Borders & distance is no issue.
When I was 18 my Mum & Dad moved into a new house & had just had the Kitchen decorated the day before I came home for a few days holiday. Mum and Dad were always pleased to see me, they always made me very welcome. It was always good to come home.
Only a year previously whilst staying with relatives in Worksop, I had come into contact with my first Electric Kettle. I ended up putting it on the Gas & wondered where the smell was coming from. My Holiday in Worksop ended up being a short visit. They were probably worried that I would burn the Kitchen down to the ground! Really I should have been forewarned. I obviously was not lucky in Kitchens! Well, to cut a long story short, I ended up burning down Mum & Dads Kitchen. It was an accident & I joked that we would laugh about it in later years & I was right. It was actually in very very later Years that Mum & Dad could laugh about it!
You know, when you go into the Kitchen & see Flames shooting out in every direction, it is sort of surreal really! Don’t you think?
Yes as they say, Love has no Borders but in this case Distance was an issue! In Margraets last years here on her lifes pathway, she was often not with us. She looked as if she was dreaming or thinking about something. I liked to think that she had left the Path to take a stroll through the Forest, just so that she could be that little bit closer to the Nature around her.
Sometimes she would be clear, but very seldom. She had suffered Heart Attacks on numerous occasions, but she always decided to ignore the Calling as she could not leave just yet. She felt she could not leave us on our own. She needed reassuring that we were all safe & well, before she could leave. In the end, she received this reassurance.
The last time I saw her was in September 2010.
Whilst chatting with Dad I noticed that Mum was in the Forest again. “It must be a Beautiful Forest” I thought to myself. When it was time to leave, I said goodbye to my Mother & noticed that her eyes were clear. This was something which happened quite seldom.
“Goodbye Martyn, I love you” she said.
I held her in my arms, realizing that we both knew this would be the last time. No matter how prepared you feel you are for the last moment, you are not! It was four months later that I had the urge to write the following story for my Mother, so I returned home to my office & did just that.
The next day, Margaret left the Pathway of life & crossed the Bridge.
MY JOURNEY HOME
It was quite dark here in the Forest. & to tell you the truth, I couldn’t tell you how long I had been here.
I mean, when I say it was quite dark, i could still see, but it was dark!
It was always dark……………...I think!
No matter in which direction I looked, I could see only trees. They seemed to stretch for miles.
Nice trees, I’ve put my arms around a lot of those trees & given them a big hug, but nevertheless, there were a lot of Trees & I had only hugged a fraction of them!
“Is there no clearing” I thought to myself, looking in every direction.
I looked up expecting to see the sky, but the branches were so thick that I could only presume there was a Blue sky above, or maybe a Moon?
What time was it? I didn’t even have a watch to look at.
Was Time important in the Forest?
I sighed & looked down to the ground, realising how close I was to bursting into tears.
There standing on the damp moss & twigs were my feet!!!
& I was barefoot!!
I heard myself laughing.
“How silly, where are my shoes” I said, forgetting that I was alone in the Forest, & who was I talking to?
I mean, there is no one there to answer me.
Well, I hadn’t seen anybody.
Was there nobody there to hear my laughter or see my tears fall?
My attention returned to my feet.
Not that I needed the shoes! Although the ground was damp, my feet were not cold, nor were they dirty.
Why aren’t they dirty? I wondered to myself.
The Forest had a chill to it, but it was not cold. I was not cold.
It had a chill, but there was no wind, no wind to be felt.
“How silly” I repeated.
It was while I was wondering how my feet don’t get dirty whilst walking barefoot in the Forest and hugging trees…….. that I heard the voice.
Now, I will be honest with you, it was not the first time that I had heard this Voice.
I had heard it before, I had heard it calling me but I had chosen to ignore it up to now, & although I can be rather stubborn at times,
the Voice had stayed pretty persistent!!
I didn’t mind the Voice being there, I knew I was safe. The Voice was warm & had a mellow ring to it, & you knew instantly, under the Voice you would find shelter from the Storm.
“Can you hear me child” said the warm kind voice.
“Mmmh” I replied, trying not to show any great interest.
“Oh, so today you are ready to hear me.” The voice said.
“Yes.. I am” thinking how patient the voice was with me, but nevertheless, I didn’t want to give in too easily. I still had unfinished Business that I had to see to. I tried to remember what that Business was, but I….. couldn’t!
The Voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Well, don’t you want to leave the Forest yet?”
“I cant leave the Forest yet, you silly billy.” I replied laughing.
“Why not?” the voice sounded concerned.
“Because I have unfinished …business” I said trying to sound important.
I looked down at my feet again wondering why they were so clean.
“That is just not normal”, I thought to myself.
Once again the Voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Oh, I see. Unfinished Business eh. What business is that then?” the Voice asked.
I started to get nervous now, because I knew I couldn’t remember what that unfinished business was, but I knew it was very important.
“I don’t know. I have tried to remember, but I cannot remember, no matter how hard I try” I said, looking up with tears in my eyes.
“But I must, I know I must!”
My Body shook & I felt the Tears tumble & start to run down my Face. My eyes followed my Tears as they fell from my Face to land on my bare feet.
“Would you like me to help you… remember?” the voice asked kindly.
“Oh yes please would you, I have been so worried that I might never ever remember what it was.”
“It will be a pleasure”.
“Would you mind closing your eyes & relaxing.”
The voice was so reassuring that it was easy to close my eyes & relax.
“What lovely manners the Voice has” I thought to myself.!!!
I sat myself on the ground, cuddling up against a tree to relax in the Comfort of the Tree.
Are you happy? The voice asked.
“What a silly Question, of course I am” I said, very sure of myself.
“Uhm,………. how do you know?”
I giggled like a little schoolgirl. “My Heart tells me.”
“Oh, your heart tells you. The Voice paused for a moment. & what exactly does your heart tell you? the Voice asked.
“It tells me that I am loved” I said quietly. I had replied so quietly that it seemed to be a whisper.
“Oh I see."
The voice was quiet for a moment, as if confused.
I waited for the Voice to say something. I noticed that the Air was filled with something special & suddenly realised what it was.
“Silence!” I thought to myself.
Once again the Voice interrupted my thoughts & I decided to change my opinion about his “ Lovely Manners!”
Then……. where is this unfinished business?” he asked kindly, but he still spoke as if he really didn’t believe that I had any.
I paused before answering, afraid of embarrassment but also knowing how important my want was.
“Well, I want to leave my Heart here in the Forest so that it will always tell everyone that I love them,
and also for the trees, all those trees that I have hugged!!.”
“Oh that’s nice, the Voice replied….but don’t you think that they know,……that you love them?”
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I tried to do my want Justice.
“I just wanted to make sure, isn’t that right” I asked the Voice confused, unsure now if it was really the right thing to do.
He needed a while before he answered, but then said
Love is probably the greatest sensation that you will ever experience & Love is not something that needs proof.
People need to trust that they can love & also be loved, ……….how else can it be love?”
“& besides that, your heart is needed elsewhere; its resting place is not here in the dark Forest.”
I felt a weight fall from me like a cloak & I wondered how long I had been wearing it?
With this, I knew then that my time amongst the trees was over.
I looked around at all the trees surrounding me.
I laid my hand on one of the Trees expressing my gratitude for my time of learning here & I prepared to leave the Forest.
I sighed as I came out of the Forest & the first ray of Sun lay upon my Body, then the next & the next.
It was so lovely to feel the warm suns rays caressing my Face again.
I had so missed them.
I knew that the Sun’s rays were cleansing my Body, giving me new life, …………& letting go of old life.
I felt a touch of sadness for the old life, knowing it would not return, but the sadness was not for me.
The sadness was for the others.
There was a Golden path ahead that led to a bridge. I knew it was mine to follow.
I had left one path to travel on another.
But before I followed it, I needed to know from where I had come.
I looked back to the Forest, for one last glimpse. I was sure I needed one last glimpse of my trees,
………… but it was gone, gone.
The Forest & all of those trees were gone!!
Instead a golden path stretched through the Valley surrounded by beautiful red flowers. In fact the flowers were all over the place, covering every hill, filling every field & waving in the Wind.
I felt a touch of sadness for the loss of the Forest & my time spent there.
“You don’t need the forest any more Margaret” the voice said reassuringly.
I knew the Voice was right so I shrugged my shoulders and said “I guess I don’t. “
Whilst strolling along that Golden Path I realised that I had no aches & no pains. No Doubts, no worries & no Fears.
The only thing I felt was good.
It had been a long long time since I had had that pleasure.
I walked on until I came to the Bridge.
I knew it would be there, somewhere, waiting for me.
I had expected it.
It was a comforting bridge, I felt good with it, probably because I had seen it before.
I knew………………. I had seen it before, I had stood on it before.
I knew this Bridge & I knew its meaning!
I walked onto the Bridge, my bare feet enjoying the warmth of the wooden Boards. I looked down through the gaps in-between the Boards.
The water under the Bridge caught the suns rays & gave the impression of being diamonds, waiting for somebody to come past & compliment its Beauty.
There were no Diamonds, but there was beauty.
Yes it was water, but in the form of tears.
The Tears had arrived at the Bridge, coming from Hearts all over the world.
Every tear holding a special loving memory that someone had shed here on the Bridge.
The tears had fallen through the gaps in the floorboards & mixed with thousands of other loving memories to form a river of tears that stretched as far as the eye could see.
Yes, the Bridge is a special meeting place.
The Bridge is the place where you go when you want to see your loved ones again.
It is that tiny space between awareness & dreaming, a place where you would always wish to return to.
It is where you go when you want to say, thank you, I miss you, I love you.
I crossed the Bridge, a spring in my step following the Golden Path again, feeling the Love of Life surging through my Body.
I felt like a little girl again, running through the Country Fields of Hambrook, enjoying the smell of all these wonderful, wonderful red flowers.
I held my hands out beside me as I ran through the Fields, touching so many of these Red Flowers, noticing that every Flower seemed to have a different scent.
I stopped running suddenly.
I bent down to look at the Flowers more closely.
I was careful not to harm the Flower as I took it in my hand to smell it.
Although they all smelt good, they didn’t smell like Flowers.
I let go of the Flower gently & noticed something sparkle in my Hand.
There in the Palm of my Hand was a Dewdrop……or.was it a Tear!
No, they weren’t flowers really, were they?
No, of course they were not, they were hearts.
Lots & lots of loving Hearts.
I knew I would find this place eventually, real deep down inside of me I knew, I just needed enough time to find it.
This was where my Heart would rest, because it was needed here, this is where it belonged, not in the Forest!
It will be here for you when you come to shed your tears through the gaps in the Bridges floorboards.
“So, my loved ones, my Friends.”
I will be seeing you………… again, …………
………………..at the Bridge!”.
Aloha Nui Loa